From a young age, I knew that I wanted to be a mother. I wanted to have at least 2 kids because I grew up with a sister and I wanted that for my kids as well. After our daughter was born, I remember lying in the hospital bed and telling my husband how I couldn\u2019t wait to make her a big sister. Looking back, it\u2019s safe to say I was a little out of it. The discussion about a second baby didn\u2019t come back up for a while. We had our hands full and we were loving it.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 After a year, parenthood became slightly easier with the growing independence of our toddler. We were starting to feel like normal people again. My husband got a new job and I left my job to be a stay at home mom. We still weren\u2019t quite ready to get pregnant again, but the discussion came back up. We wanted children close in age, probably 2.5-3 years apart. It took us months to get pregnant the first time, so we planned to start trying in September with the hopes of getting pregnant around the new year.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Well as the saying goes, \u201cMan plans, God laughs\u201d. Come September, I found myself 3 months pregnant with a due date almost identical to our oldest.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 So there I was, pregnant, throwing up 24\/7 and chasing after a very active 16 month old. Chores weren\u2019t happening. Dishes were literally balancing in the sink to not fall on the floor. Laundry continued to pile up and I was an emotional mess! On top of that, my daughter still needed attention and wanted me to play with her. The nerve, right?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 But life goes on, and as hard as it is, you still need to keep going. I had to learn how to take care of myself so I could take care of my daughter. Yes, that\u2019s easier said than done. But I will share 5 tips that helped me get through this tough time and helped me be more present for my toddler.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n
1. Let Go of Expectations<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Before having kids, I underestimated how difficult it would be to raise a young child while pregnant and also running a household. Small everyday chores that usually took 10 minutes would take the whole day. That is, if they even got done at all. My anxiety had me convinced that I was failing my daughter and my husband.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 The truth is that my husband never said one negative thing to me about the house when he got home everyday. He would come home and ask how I was and was worried about my well being. My feelings of failure came from my own head. Eventually I made a habit of blocking off the living room, getting out the toys and letting my daughter do her thing while I sat on the couch.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 To be clear, I did get up and clean. It had to be done. But I didn\u2019t worry so much about making sure everything got done every single day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 2.Take A Break When You Can<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Anyone who has or has had a toddler knows that sitting on the couch and watching them is NOT a break. It\u2019s a constant, \u201cDon\u2019t touch that\u201d \u201cWhat\u2019s in your mouth?\u201d \u201cGet down from there\u201d, etc. To me, a break is being able to remove yourself from your everyday stress.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 As for me, I only had one child when I was pregnant and miserably sick. So my break was nap time. I put her in her crib and then went to take a nap. I understand that different families have different situations. So even if it means putting on a movie and giving them a snack while you sit across the room and read a book, so be it. Get it where you can.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n 3.Accept Help When It\u2019s Offered<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 This one took a while and today I still have trouble with it. I have no real reason why I told people \u201cno thanks\u201d. Maybe I didn\u2019t want them to think I couldn\u2019t do it. Maybe I was ashamed of what my house looked like. Maybe I didn\u2019t want people hearing me throw up all day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Actually, I lied. It was all of those reasons. <\/p>\n\n\n\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 About 6 months into the pregnancy, we all got sick. I had to check into Labor and Delivery to monitor the baby. My husband’s parents watched our daughter for a couple of days while we recovered. I realized then that sometimes you just need to let people help you. You can\u2019t take care of your child if you are not taking care of yourself.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n 4.Try Going Outside<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I know, the worst right? You’re tired and sick. The last thing you want to do is pack up a toddler and go outside. Everyone copes with these symptoms differently, but for me, the hardest part was getting motivated to do it. When I did, I felt great! The exercise woke me up and took my mind off of being sick. It also helped to see my daughter happy to be out of the house. When I kept myself in the house, I was keeping her in as well. She needed the fresh air.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n I didn\u2019t always do this because prepping everything to leave the house is hard. So prepping a go bag for this can be very helpful. <\/p>\n\n\n\n 5.Ignore Social Media<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I cannot stress this one enough! I\u2019m not saying disconnect from social media completely, but just be careful about what you are letting yourself see. If you flip through social media, people LOVE to post all the ways their families are perfect. Kids behaving, parents relaxing, everything is going right. Though life does have it\u2019s ups, it’s hard not to compare yourself when you see everyone living a \u201cperfect\u201d life while you feel like you are struggling. I would find myself crying and wondering why God allowed me to become a mother when I obviously wasn\u2019t cut out for the job.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t until I actually talked to friends about the troubles and realized that (Spoiler Alert) social media is pretty fake. If possible, join mom groups. Groups that you can actually meet in person and talk to other moms that could be in the same boat as you. The kids are there and there is no hiding the bad times. They happen right there in front of you. Maybe you will even find a really good friend who truly understands you.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I know that we all live different lives and these tips may do nothing for you. But if nothing else, I hope that this post helps you realize that there ARE ways to get through and that you continue to find what works for you. Motherhood is hard. Pregnancy, for some, can be harder. You WILL get through this and when you do, you will have children close in age. I’m still pretty new to having children close in age, so I\u2019ve got more experiences ahead of me, but having grown up with a sister 3 years younger than me, I can say that children close in age are a blessing.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n Keep your head up. You are doing a great job!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" From a young age, I knew that I wanted to be a mother. I wanted to have at least 2 kids because I grew up with a sister and I wanted that for my kids as well. 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