When I look back on the first year of the COVID pandemic, it’s hard to think anything good could have come from it. Out of nowhere, life just shut down. As I watched the numbers rise, I felt my anxiety rise as well. My husband was working from home and we had to pull our oldest daughter out of preschool. I was homeschooling both girls. My fear was that this was going to be the new normal and I was having a hard time accepting that. It’s not that I hated what I was doing, in fact, homeschooling was fun for me since I had experience as a preschool teacher. I hated that my young children were being robbed of their childhood experiences.
For most of my life I have suffered from anxiety and depression. During this time, I felt myself spiraling into a dark place. So for the sake of my family’s happiness and my own, I needed to find ways to pull myself out of this dark place. To be honest, it can be a very hard thing to do.
I know that everyone copes with their mental health differently. For me, Sometimes it’s helpful to try and find the good things. Finding the good can feel impossible when you feel like you are at rock bottom. But rock bottom is a great opportunity to make changes. Any change. Some happened naturally while others were decisions I made. I decided I needed to focus on what I had instead of what I lost.
I’m sharing my “light” in the hopes that it encourages others to search for theirs as well. Here are the ways this pandemic has had a positive impact on my life.
1.No More Social Obligations
Before the pandemic hit, our calendar was always so full. Every time we thought we would have a relaxing weekend at home, someone would want us to go somewhere or do something. I’m not good at telling people no. So this pandemic really gave me an excuse to say we couldn’t go out. I am an introvert, and I used to hate the idea of going places over the weekend. So a small burden was lifted during this time.
2.Family time
Our lives were still busy, but we were together. During the week, I was homeschooling the girls. At this time they were 1 and 3 years old. As difficult as it was some days, overall it was a great experience. The best part was that they were getting one on one time with learning. My husband was working from home so he was kind of there but not there. But if he wasn’t in a meeting, he could help me in a pinch if I needed it. The girls loved having their daddy home all day, even if they couldn’t play with him. It was a struggle keeping them away from him and not distracting him, but it was a blessing to be able to have him there. As a stay at home mom (PRE-COVID) I used to feel so alone, even when my kids were there because I was the only adult all day long. Quarantine gave us the opportunity to be together, even for small moments during the day.
3.Gratitude
This was the perfect time to count my blessings. It’s so easy to get caught up in all the things going wrong in your life that you forget to appreciate what’s going right. When my anxiety gets bad, I stress out so much that it stops me from enjoying time with my family. When that happens, I need to step back and realize that I have a lot of good things in my life. Quarantine seemed so scary and it felt like it would never end. But we realized that we were in a good place compared to what we could have experienced. There was so much loss around the world, and we were sitting at home, safe, husband employed and everyone healthy. I think it’s the best thing we could have hoped for, considering the circumstances.
Was it still hard? Absolutely! Something I have had to learn over time (and sometimes still have trouble understanding) is that your suffering shouldn’t be ignored because you think you are better off than others. Your feelings are still valid, but if the hardships are your reality, you might as well find some happiness in it.
4.Organization Motivation
With our entire life being moved to our home, we had to do some rearranging. I already felt like we didn’t have enough room in our house. It got worse when we had to figure out setting up an office space for my husband and a home school area for the kids. I was feeling overwhelmed and feeling like the clutter would win.
After a bit of planning, I started to get excited. I let my husband take care of his work space, but I was ready to dust off my preschool teacher hat and get to work. Before I knew it, I had an entire section of the living room cleared out and set up as a mini classroom. I went from feeling like the walls were closing in to creating an open creative space for the kids to play and learn.
My house never stays clean; I have 2 young kids. But I definitely have way more motivation to get things cleaned up. That feeling of accomplishment when I was done really had an impact.
5.Letting Go Of Toxic People
I won’t go into detail right now, but my husband and I had to make a decision to leave a toxic situation during quarantine. The experience was one of the hardest things we had to do because we lost a lot of friends and people we thought were like family to us. As heartbreaking and soul crushing as this experience was, it actually made us stronger in the end. We supported each other throughout this time when we both were suffering from some serious depression. This experience did eventually allow us to find a new environment to make new friends. With COVID, it’s moving slowly, but we feel we are moving in the right direction.
6.Physical and Mental health
In an attempt to not feel so sad and stressed all the time, I decided to start exercising. When I was younger, I was very active in sports and other activities and I always felt so good when I did it. When I started getting into the habit of working out (even just a couple times a week) I noticed a domino effect. With fitness came nutrition and then came self care. Self care was one of the hardest things to incorporate into my life. With both kids home all day, it was hard to find the time to take care of myself. I ended up doing some rearranging of the living room to block off a big safe play space. Throughout the day between cleaning and home school, I would sit on the couch in the living room and read, watch tv or just rest. The kids were there where I could see them, but I was still occasionally resting my body and mind from the day to day hustle.
Fitness, nutrition and self care definitely did not happen everyday. Sometimes the bad days win, that’s life. But I learned that even with bad days, I am capable of getting back on my feet.
I know that finding a light when you’re in the darkest places can be so hard. But something I realized was that I was stuck in a dark place because I had given up on finding the light. Once I started looking for it, it changed everything. Life throws curve balls and I occasionally find myself lost again. But now, the difference is I know the light is there and that’s the motivation I need to find it again.